I've seen that movie

If you haven't ever heard me say "I've seen that movie", you probably will at some point. There are just a few things that I'll never do.

Well...because I've seen that movie.

• I'll never stay in a hotel along a long strip of deserted highway. Especially when I'm the only one there.


• I'll never go looking for a noise outside, in the dark, in my underwear.


• I'll never put water on small, fluffy animals.


• I'll never take my tiny flashlight, with very low batteries, into an abandoned building because I heard a noise.


• I'll never stay at a cabin, on a lake, where people have been murdered.


• You'll never catch me in a morgue alone, day or night. (Well...unless...you know.)


• I'll never stay at a large, haunted hotel on a snowy mountain.


• You'll never catch me playing with kids that come walking out of a corn field.


• I'll never get drunk on a small, tropical beach with only the locals.


• I often sleep with the sheets pulled up over my neck so that the vampires can't smell me.


• If a comet hits Earth, I'm never coming up from my hiding place underground.


• Pick up a hitch-hiker? Nope, never.


• I'll never turn on all of the lights at an amusement park when there could possibly be zombies around.